There really is no such thing as a bad baseball city. I mean, if you get paid six or seven figures to play baseball, how bad could it be? This, of course, is coming from me, and as they say—life is all relative. If I were talented enough to be a MLB player I’m sure I would look at things a little differently. For instance, Delmon Young is dissatisfied with the Devil Rays for not calling him up, or, to make a football comparison Eli Manning didn’t want to play football in San Diego. So, let me rephrase—there is such a thing as a bad baseball city. Nobody wants to play for an organization with a losing tradition, or in a terribly boring city. Not to mention the fans. You might be in the middle of nowhere, but, hey, if the fans are good, you have something to play for.
The Top Ten
1. San Francisco
Some, if not all of you are probably surprised by this choice. San Francisco encompasses everything you could want in a team. They aren’t a large market franchise, yet they certainly don’t cheat their players. So you’ll be rich. Pac Bell Park is one of the nicest stadiums in baseball, and you get to chill in perfect baseball weather even in the “sour” months of April and September. Not to mention, San Francisco is a pretty ill city with good night life and wine country only an hour away.
2. San Diego
As much as the last selection is debatable, San Diego number 2? Have I been sippin’ more syrup? Well, if you’ve ever been to San Diego you know this is clearly one of the best places to live in America. Beautiful beaches, a gorgeous ballpark and “hands down” the best girls in North America. There are certainly downfalls to playing here. Petco Park is terrible if you’re a power hitting left-handed batter such as Ryan Klesko and Brian Giles. Plus, you have to have a goatee.
I hate saying anything nice about Boston, but despite the uncountable number of Massholes, it’s hard to argue against it as a player’s town. You’re guaranteed to play in an ancient and ferociously packed stadium every night. And when you go out in Beantown as a baseball player, it’s like Totti hitting clubs in Rome—you’re worshipped by every 18-35 year old women there is. And O those precious Pubs...delicious drinking wells of hope...
4. Los Angeles
The warm weather biased is obviously playing a role. There are so many things to hate about LA—the traffic, the smog, the celebrity thrilled fans who show up an hour and a half late to each game. Not to mention, Chavez Ravine is nothing to get excited about. But it is LA. You have great weather year round, a large payroll, and, Vegas is only three and a half hours away.
5. New York Yankees
If it wasn’t for the intense New York media, the Yankees would have been placed second on this list behind the Giants. Obviously, if you play for the Yankees you’re going to be overpaid. You’ll also have an opportunity to hit the bars until 4 AM after the game, and, like Boston, baseball players are treated like celebrities. There is no better city to be “known” in when you walk up to a bar or restaurant. And if you play well, you’ll be rewarded. This city, and its media love its big game players. But as much as New Yorkers love to love, they also love to hate. You have to have a thickhead to play here because you’ll be detested by everyone you play on the road, and if you start playing badly at home, you’ll have no one to look for, for support. In other words, if you’ve got the sack to handle the media, you’ll be in heaven, and if you don’t well…you’ll probably end up somewhere in Middle America.
Toronto—what in God’s name is Toronto doing here above so many other cities? Let me tell you that Toronto is one of the greatest, and most forgotten cities in North America. They have a killer music scene, good, loyal fans, a retractable dome, solid food, and it’s exceptionally clean. You also don’t have the pressures of playing in a big city, despite Toronto’s big city feel. And, in the off-season, you can ski. For tickets please call….
7. New York Mets
The beaten down stepchild of the Bronx Bombers, the Mets have a lot going for them except for their reputation. Like the Yankees, the Mets have New York and all of its glory to play in. But, if you’re a Met, you’ll always be second tier. You play in the ugliest ballpark in baseball, and, they make you ride a school bus from the parking lot to the stadium. This would never happen at Yankee stadium. What I’m trying to say is, your situation is worse than being a Yankee, but it’s still pretty damn good.
For Mets party pictures, click here.
8. Texas Rangers
I’m not going to lie, I don’t know much about Texas. I’ve never been there and, quite frankly, from what I’ve read, the state scares me. Nevertheless, players seem to enjoy it and the Ballpark in Arlington is a great place to hit. Plus, booze, dirt bikes, and bitches sounds like fun to me.
If you ever read this site you know I don’t have much respect for the Anaheim Angels and their blasted rally monkey. But, like I said, they’re only three and a half hours from Vegas.
10. Chicago Cubs/Chicago White Sox
I wanted to put both these clubs further up the list because I have so much respect for the city of Chicago and its precious Weiner Circle. But, despite Chicago’s excellence, these two teams have many organizational problems. For starters, the Cubs are owned by the bastard Tribune company who screws their “fans” in every possible way. For instance, did you know that the Tribune company owns many scalping agencies who are given a certain amount of tickets each game? Thus, your ticket that’s listed at $25, goes up to $40, and ends up in th same place. Another reason why the Cubbies have gone down hill is, and this is coming from Cubs’ fans, most of the people who attend games now are more like tourists, rather than real hardcore fans. I’m not saying that there aren’t real Cubs fans, cause I’m sure there are plenty, but it sucks when a team becomes “trendy.”
As for the White Sox, they are selling out a few games and their fans seem to be supporting them after their World Series victory last year. But, they’re clearly still the second favorite team in Chicago. We’ll see how many of these fans stick around if the White Sox struggle in the years to come. I have a feeling Ozzie ball can only take you so far. Five years is a better indicator of an organization's success than two.
I’ll have the Bottom Ten up over the weekend.